42

As I sit here, writing a review of a movie that portrays strength of character over the power of hate, all I can think of is that I locked my keys in my car. 

That has nothing to do with the movie 42. 

It most certainly is not anything like the obstacles that Jackie Robinson faced breaking down the color barrier in Major League Baseball. 

It is, however, the one thought playing over and over and over in my mind, as I mentally whack myself for being so stupid. It's not even a good story. 

I'll tell it anyway.

I was trying to prevent my crazy dog from strangling himself on his seat-belt-leash-thingy as he tried to escape from the car, and I simply dropped my keys on the seat in order to get some air down his windpipe. Then I closed the locked door. There are still leftovers in the trunk. That's the worst part, honestly.

Maybe I'll tell people I was doing battle with a wild animal of some sort, kind of like this guy. 

Makes for better story.

(deep breath)

I think I can write now. 

http://blacksheepreviews.com/42-review/

Did you know Jackie Robinson's jersey number has been permanently retired?

This biography of Jackie Robinson is worth watching- great baseball sequences, an inspiring story, and I wish I could show it to my students. It has too many inappropriate words- authentic to the time period, of course- but 7th graders aren't quite capable of separating historical accuracy from "He said a bad word! Phmmf...(suppressed giggle)."

It is, however, a slightly flat film, like a pop you're excited to drink, but realize it's been left open to long.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/12/showbiz/movies/42-movie-review/index.html
Just keep stealing bases- those are your best scenes.

Chadwick Boseman as Jackie Robinson felt stale- no fire, no spunk, though that was kind of the point. He wasn't supposed to react. He was supposed to absorb and deflect all the action, so that no one could have a valid argument to keep a black man from baseball.

The over-done musical score really wants you to feel certain emotional responses in regards to Robinson, and while I was happy enough to follow the uplifting story, I couldn't help but be aware of the strategic trajectory.

Harrison Ford, on the other hand, gave a spectacular performance.

http://www.npr.org/2013/04/12/176785008/earnest-42-buffs-up-a-golden-baseball-moment
His body suit seemed to show a bit in the back, though.

His portrayal of the Dogers' general manager, Branch Rickey, was evocative and his lines were some of the best. His bravery is certainly not overlooked, but Jackie Robinson was the one receiving daily death threats. To its credit, 42 points out that important and horrifying fact in its best scene.

I've heard that people who watch this are reminded of The Help, a great story all around, but a story that seems to prove a movie about race in America must come with big-name white actors to attract crowds. 

I personally think America needs to stop tip-toeing around political correctness, acknowledge that race is an awkward subject due to the baggage of suffering it carries with it, and continue to cast amazing actors of all colors that can build off of each other. Chadwick Boseman just can't compare to Harrison Ford, who seems to be getting even better at growling his lines with every passing year.

http://www.listal.com/list/a-6699

You may even surpass the classic Clint someday, Harrison.

Political correctness aside, it is a well-done biography, worth watching for history's sake, and Harrison Ford's great performance.

World War Z

http://impruvism.com/world-war-z/

It seems the rest of the world has seen this movie (especially all my students). While it took me a while, I finally saw it. 

I stupidly watched it right before I went to bed. 

Me = dumb.

I have totally been avoiding this movie on purpose, because the book by Max Brooks was an amazing trek through terror, and I loved every freakishly terrifying word. The themes of fear and uncertainty, with an emphasis on survival, helped me realize the need for an emergency pack in my bedroom, my car, and the garage, plus an extra gas can, a plan to get out of major city areas, and, finally, to purchase a bat (because that doesn't run out of ammo).

Am I prepared for a zombie apocalypse?  Well, as prepared as anyone can be after reading Brooks' how-to-oral-history, I suppose.

With your knowledge of my slightly strange love/respect/reverence for the book, you may understand why I'm a bit split in regards to my opinion of World War Z, which has practically nothing in common with its namesake. 

So, I decided to write this post in two perspectives: first, as if this were just any other zombie movie, and second, as a zombie movie based on one of the best books ever.

Just a Zombie Movie

If nothing else, this movie is a thrilling zombie flick, with quite a few jump-back-in-your-seat-and-scream moments. I really did enjoy watching it, especially after I decided not to keep a running tally of differences from the book.

I recommend watching it if you're in the mood for an exciting apocalyptic tale, but I do have a few, well, observations.

Spoiler alert!

First of all, the opening credits. Can I just say...Terminator, much? The scrolling letters, the music, it was practically screaming "End of the world! Humanity is doomed! The robots...I mean, zombies are coming!"

Secondly, isn't it convenient for Brad...I mean Gerry and his family that he is so important a helicopter + sharp shooters are sent out to collect them? Sorry everybody else. And I mean EVERYBODY. I guess there wouldn't have been a story otherwise...

Third on my list were the zombie piles. I get the reference to the ants in the opening credits, and it's totally freaky, but I take umbrage when I see a running zombie. It's like seeing a sparkly vampire: wrong, just wrong. 

Next, there is a point made that the zombies will pass over a dying host because they need a healthy body to infest...with the virus of being...the un-dead. Just let that sink in for a second. 

I appreciate the movie trying to bring hope amid a broiling mass of flailing, running and flying zombies, but part of the true terror that creates such zombie fever with fans is that you don't know what spreads the infection. Don't try to science-ify it. Just make them groan, "BRainS!" and we'll be happy. (by the way, this is one of the mistakes I think The Walking Dead TV show made- that whole CDC scene was such a mistake).

Those are all small complaints, and I was freaked out...I mean entertained, by this movie.

World War Z: The Book

http://blog.pshares.org/index.php/book-vs-movie-world-war-z-a-ploughshares-playlist/

Did I mention this movie was NOTHING like the book? 

If Hollywood had just stepped out on a limb and tried to tell the story in a different way than "tough-special-handsome UN investigator must go into the danger zone and save the world, because only he (and his stubble) can do it" plot, then they might have been able to create something unique.

That was half the draw of World War Z: it was such a different take on a story rehashed a hundred times.

If you haven't read the book, you should, and I hear the audio book is really well done too. It follows a UN postwar commission agent trying to discover the cause of the zombie war ten years after the fact by interviewing important survivors: those that might know something or who gave vital contributions to humanity's survival.

Here's what I would have decided to tell the director if I were the Empress of Hollywood: don't hire Brad Pitt.

http://lifetimereadingplan.blogspot.com/2011/02/troy-wars.html

I say that knowing he's the only reason 

I re-watch the massacre that is Troy.

While I hardly believe I typed those words myself, I want you to think about that for a moment. Without his huge 14 million dollar paycheck, just think of all the other actors that could have been hired to actually do the oral history justice. 

For example, how could you abandon such a salty character as Tomonaga Ijiro, a blind, Japanese gardener turned zombie assassin...armed with only a shovel who practically rids the island of Japan of zombies single-shovel-dly?

Or what about fascinating predictions of what countries would fall and which would rise, with North Korea abandoned, its citizens presumed to have retreated to underground bunkers, while Israel closes its borders and pretty much survives the war? (that was hinted at in the movie, but the strangely agile zombies destroyed even that reference)

Or the terrifying prospect of mobs of zombies crawling along the ocean floor, devouring all sea life?

Or, you know, the fact that this was called WORLD War Z, not Brad Pitt saves the World.

(sigh)

Anyhoo, I hear that the powers that be are trying to make this into a trilogy, and with its box office success, that seems to be a real possibility for World War Z. 

I'll probably go see the next installment.

Or maybe I'll wait for the rental, so I can watch it alone, in the dark, right before bed.

Epic

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epic_(film)

Epic lived up to its name.

This movie follows the adventures of M.K., a magically shrunken teenager who meets the miniature "Leafmen." They protect the forest from the ever encroaching rot made by the Boggans, with a plethora of side characters. The plot is a pretty standard human-meets-magical-race-and-helps-them-save-the-world story, but I felt it was anything but ordinary. 

I was immediately hooked by the amazing action sequences (SO MANY good ones), the detailed animation, the warmth to the story, and the well written characters. They were the best part really- the side characters. 

My favorite was the queen- a likable, strong character, who had a heartbreaking side story.

http://movies.about.com/od/epic/ig/Photos/Queen-Tara-Pic.htm

I love it when the side characters have great stories.

Though, the slugs came in a close second.

http://www.indiewire.com/tag/blue-sky

Look how not-disgusting these guys are!

It was an exciting roller coaster ride through a tiny, beautiful world. You should see it, and I think your kids (not too young, there are some scary characters) will LOVE it. I know I did.

I do have one complaint, though.

With a character like M.K., there was such potential to focus on a strong, female teenager, reconnecting with her estranged father through an epic journey, while learning to see the world in a different way.

http://www.kernelscorner.com/2013/03/its-raining-plenty-of-posters-from-blue.html#.UkONcIZJOAg
Kind of looked a bit cross-eyed sometimes, but otherwise a pretty cool gal.

Amanda Seyfried did an excellent job with her voice (as did many of the other voice actors). She wasn't written as a whiny girl: you empathize with her, and plus, she's tough. While the story revolves around her, the side characters get their fair share of attention too. 

Unfortunately, quite a bit of that slice of attention-pie involved this guy, a very predictable rebel-without-a-cause type.

http://www.flicks.co.nz/movie/epic/

He just kept holding onto the spotlight.

Josh Hutcherson's vocal talents in a cartoon fall slightly flat, but that wasn't the part that really disappointed me. 

Why can't a movie production company realize that an exciting story can revolve around a young heroine without there needing to be a romantic sub-plot?

http://seespeakhearmama.com/tag/brave/

Besides Pixar, of course.

Nob, the young, restless teenage boy, who just doesn't seem to fit in and must break free from the confining grip of his psuedo-father/commanding officer, is a character we've ALL seen before. 

At least Epic didn't fall into the cliche of having the love of a woman change a rouge into a prince.

http://iheartthetalkies.com/2012/04/30/film-review-beauty-and-the-beast-3d/
Darn you, Stockholm Syndrome!
I'll never watch this movie the same way again.

Anyhoo, in general, Nob isn't too annoying, and he sets Ronin, the commanding officer of the Leafmen, up for some great one-liners.

http://www.digitalspy.com/movies/review/a481466/epic-review-beyonce-stars-in-new-blue-sky-studios-animation.html
Nob, your purpose is to make me look awesome.

Nob did have some (and by some, I mean A LOT) of thrilling, spectacular, and just plain awesome action sequences. So, I will tolerate his presence in the film, though I think M.K.'s character would have been just fine without him. 

All that said, this is a minor complaint, one brought on by my little sister who notices these things. The film rocks, like watch-it-twice-in-a-row rocks. 

Well done, Epic.

PS- Thanks Corey, for making me see the light on this one.

The Call

www.call-movie.com/site/

I'm not one for "scary" movies. 

Most of them seem to be all about counting how many limbs can be chopped off and how much blood spurts out of a severed artery before a scantily clad blond dies screaming, leaving little room for actual fear, just disgust. 

I have not seen Texas Chainsaw Massacre LXVI, and no, I'm not curious enough to see this year's installment of The Devil's Omen of Paranormal Signs on Friday the 13th blah-de-blah. Not interested.

Instead, it's the movies that thrill and chill my mind that I find truly terrifying- the psychological thrillers that leave the gore off screen, because really, the monsters we imagine in our minds are always scarier. 

www.denofgeek.us/movies

Except for this guy. Pan's Labyrinth was visually freaky, man.

The Call was this kind of movie- the kind that had me on the edge of my seat, gripping the arm-rests of my couch for dear life.

There are still hand imprints on my pillows.

This level of anticipation began after a slow opening and then lasted for, oh, most of the movie, and I felt this way while watching a woman named Jordan (Halle Berry) talk on the phone to a girl named Casey (Abigail Breslin).

Keep in mind that Casey is locked in the trunk of a car, kidnapped and on her way to certain doom, and Jordan is a 911 emergency response operator, but still, it was a movie made up of two people talking on the phone. Such a simple, terrifying premise, and so, so good.

Halle Berry has had her ups and downs, and this is absolutely an up. She is convincing, not over the top, and about 20 minutes in, I stopped seeing her as a famous actress, but as an unnaturally pretty 911 operator. Kudos to her.

http://cinemasochists.blogspot.com

I almost forgive her for this. Almost. 

Abigail Breslin has always been something to see, from Signs to Little Miss Sunshine, and she doesn't disappoint in The Call. By the end, you'll be calling out "You can do it, honey! Don't give up!" just like I was.

http://blahblahblahgay.blogspot.com

No, I am not afraid to admit that I yell at the TV. A lot.

As the movie's credits scrolled up the screen, I couldn't help but feel that everything up until the ending (which was totally over-the-top) could have really happened, and probably has happened. 

Now that's creepy. 

On the plus side, this movie acts as an exciting guide on what to do (and what not to do) if you find yourself kidnapped and locked in the trunk of a car. 

Absolutely worth the rental- be prepared to hold someone close and never let your children go out alone without a cell phone.

Rifftrax Live: Starship Troopers

If this image makes you think of guffawing at amazingly bad movies, then we are kindred spirits. Mystery Science Theater 3000 created a rift in time and space where it is alright to talk/provide a running commentary during movies. Anyone else who dares to speak during any other cinematic experience will surely go to the special hell. 

That reminds me of the worst date I've ever been on...but that's a tale for another time.

Here's a bit of background for the unfortunate souls who need to be educated: Mystery Science Theater 3000 takes the ridiculous premise of a guy and robots stuck in space, making fun of terrible movies they are forced to watch as part of a mind experiment, and creates comedy gold. It's a joy that must be experienced (I Accuse My Parents is an especially good episode, and MST3K: The Movie is the best. Ever.). 

I can still hear their voices, after all this time...

After MST3K was cancelled, the wisecracking kings (Kevin, Mike and Bill), unable to contain their awesome gift of gab, created a website named Rifftrax. This is movie nerd heaven. You watch a popular movie (such as Jurassic Park or Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, two of my favorite Rifftrax...) on your own entertainment system, download the MP3 off the Rifftrax website and play that on your computer in tandem with the movie, and it's like having your own personal peanut gallery in your living room. A peanut gallery that makes you laugh so hard popcorn might shoot out of your nose.

These guys are the only reason I made it through all FIVE of the Twilight torture sessions.

But wait, that's not all! Rifftrax also riffs movies live, a performance which is beamed to audiences in movie theaters across the country. I was able to finally see these guys in action last month with their hilarious take on Starship Troopers. 

That is a REALLY BAD movie. The acting was bad. The 90's technology is so silly looking it's bad. The writing was bad. The storyline was bad (Ender's Game did this plot oh-so-much-better). Bad, bad, bad. Granted, the giant bug effects have held up wonderfully over time, and the idea of equality of the sexes in the future was a refreshing sight, but my goodness was this a BAD movie. Perfect fodder for Rifftrax.

The one joke I'll give away is that this smile gets made fun of. A lot.
And yes, that is a giant bug leg sticking through her shoulder.

There will be another showing of this grand event on the 12th of September, and I highly recommend it to anyone within 100 miles of a theater playing Rifftrax Live: Starship Troopers. They are also doing a Halloween live recording of a riff on Night of the Living Dead on October 24th. 

My one complaint, and maybe they'll have fixed this for the second showing, is that the audio was hard to follow. At times, when both the actors of Starship Troopers and the Rifftrax guys are talking, I couldn't distinguish actual words, but that only happened a few times. Other than that, it is an experience worth the ticket price.

Find both of these in a theater near you, and you'll laugh the night away, I guarantee it. 

Pacific Rim

I can not tell you how wrong my perception of this movie was. 

Well, I'll try.

I thought this was going to be another Transformers. 

It was NOT.

I thought this was going to be a Godzilla meets I Am Robot reboot. 

It was nothing of the kind.

In fact, it was a well-written, thrilling adventure that had me on the edge of my seat, barely blinking for a solid 131 minutes. It was more of a kung fu Independence Day, with the technology of Avatar, only the plot felt crisp and the dialogue was so nerdy it was cool. This movie doesn't just present giant robots fighting huge alien monsters of every shape and form. No, it screams at the top of its lungs, I AM A MOVIE ABOUT GIANT ROBOTS AND ALIENS AND I AM NOT ASHAMED! 

That's the only way to go about it, really.

For those of you who haven't heard of this film, here's the basic premise. Along a major fault line, deep in the Pacific Ocean, a rift in time and space has opened up to allow enormous monsters through that cause a lot of damage and are very hard to kill. Hence the need for a new kind of weapon...gigantic cyborgs mecha! (My sister refused to let me write such a misleading description of these giant robots as "cyborgs," as these are human controlled robots, not humans with robot parts. I honestly was just trying to find another word for 'robot')

Here are a few facts you must know about this movie (no more plot points- half the fun is that you don't know what these humongous beings are going to do next).

1. You need to see this on a big screen. The fight scenes and special effects are so well done that I actually felt small while I was watching these giant beings go at it with anything they could get their hands/talons/tails/teeth on. Twas thrilling, to put it mildly.

2. The casting rocked. With the exception of some over-the-top side characters, the cast was a refreshing, fresh faced pool of talent that reflected what might happen if the world was being attacked by a nearly unbeatable force. 

3. The female character was actually a character. Well rounded, interesting, and not there as eye-candy. 

I have nothing to say.

In fact, the eye candy was decidedly aimed towards a female audience, methinks....

Fist pump of equality, Charlie Hunnam!

I have found this to be a refreshing pattern in a few recent movies...

Thor's bringing the thunder from down under...he he...

Uhura did not take off her clothes and actually spoke some wicked Klingon.

Another one of my favorite things from Australia, film and reality.

4. You've got to ignore the "science" to enjoy the movie. Don't pay any attention to why things are happening: those lines were put in to ease the perfectionist portion of the audience who need to know the reason giant aliens are invading the planet. The rest of humanity just wants to watch huge robots and beasts duke it out on land and sea. Luckily, Pacific Rim glosses over these potentially weak points in the story by saying them really fast in a British accent, which lends a certain sense of mystery and authority to the line. It worked for me.

RAWAR! Guillermo del Toro approves this message.

5. Marvelous soundtrack- I hummed it for the rest of the day, loudly and randomly, much to the chagrin of my family. 

6. Last, but not least, I think this movie had the shortest motivational speech that seems to be required in Hollywood to steady warriors as they face certain doom. Short, sweet, to the point, and oh-so-quotable. I liked it.

Go see this movie in the theater- it's TOTALLY worth it.

Here's the trailer, if you're interested!

RED 2

I was really excited for this one. 

So excited I was even willing to pay  for a $10.25 matinee showing. The ticket taker gave a sympathetic chortle when I asked if there was a student discount. There isn't one apparently. 

If you have seen RED, the original movie released in 2010, then you understand my excitement for it's sequel- some of my favorite classics (Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, I could go on and on) all in one entertaining ensemble, witty dialogue, great action sequences and unbelievable fun-all can be found in RED. 

The basic premise in the first movie is that retired assassins/spies/contract killers have been labeled RED (Retired, Extremely Dangerous), and must therefore be eliminated, with the necessary amount of political intrigue. Add a bit of quirky romance, a strong dollop of we-know-this-is-a-completely-preposterous-plot...and-we-don't-care attitude, and you've got awesome. 

The sequel wasn't disappointing. It just wasn't the original. 

Part of RED's charm (the first one) was that it was completely unexpected. 

He stepped out of a spinning car! HE JUST STEPPED OUT OF IT!!!!

Of course John Malkovich would go up against a rocket launcher with a handgun.
I mean, WHY NOT?!?!

RED 2 tried to accomplish that same sense of "don't underestimate what these retired killers can do!" that the first one so playfully presented, but it couldn't be unpredictable like the first one. I honestly felt the same sensation about the Matrix sequels- you can't replicate originality if you use the same gimmicks and tricks. Yes, there is the addition of how to hold on to a relationship that's gotten past the "He's a spy. I like spies" stage, the premise that Frank Moses (Bruce Willis' character) must save the world instead of just America, and kung fu, but it just wasn't as new as the first. 

My one true complaint has to do with the music- the funky soundtrack from the original (lead instruments- harmonica and banjo) was replaced by sadly commonplace THIS IS AN ACTION MOVIE! music that sounded just like every other action movie out there. What a waste. 

That being said, I did enjoy myself. I laughed- a lot. I was wrapped up in the spy story (of which I will not reveal the twists and turns- that would just be rude). The action sequences were exciting and the dialogue was decent. In short, I enjoyed myself, and what else are movies for, really?

The additions of Anthony Hopkins, Catherine Zeta Jones, and Byung-hun Lee to the cast (among others) was on the verge of feeling like Ocean's 12/13, but it never got too silly or full of its self like those sequels did. The silliness felt unabashed, not embarrassing, and I've got to respect something that is so completely itself, no explanations needed. Yeah, let's have a car chase that leads to this scene:

The car is spinning, of course.

All in all, I give this movie three stars- worth seeing, but as a rental. Save that $10.25 for something that is not a sequel.