Rifftrax Live: Starship Troopers

If this image makes you think of guffawing at amazingly bad movies, then we are kindred spirits. Mystery Science Theater 3000 created a rift in time and space where it is alright to talk/provide a running commentary during movies. Anyone else who dares to speak during any other cinematic experience will surely go to the special hell. 

That reminds me of the worst date I've ever been on...but that's a tale for another time.

Here's a bit of background for the unfortunate souls who need to be educated: Mystery Science Theater 3000 takes the ridiculous premise of a guy and robots stuck in space, making fun of terrible movies they are forced to watch as part of a mind experiment, and creates comedy gold. It's a joy that must be experienced (I Accuse My Parents is an especially good episode, and MST3K: The Movie is the best. Ever.). 

I can still hear their voices, after all this time...

After MST3K was cancelled, the wisecracking kings (Kevin, Mike and Bill), unable to contain their awesome gift of gab, created a website named Rifftrax. This is movie nerd heaven. You watch a popular movie (such as Jurassic Park or Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, two of my favorite Rifftrax...) on your own entertainment system, download the MP3 off the Rifftrax website and play that on your computer in tandem with the movie, and it's like having your own personal peanut gallery in your living room. A peanut gallery that makes you laugh so hard popcorn might shoot out of your nose.

These guys are the only reason I made it through all FIVE of the Twilight torture sessions.

But wait, that's not all! Rifftrax also riffs movies live, a performance which is beamed to audiences in movie theaters across the country. I was able to finally see these guys in action last month with their hilarious take on Starship Troopers. 

That is a REALLY BAD movie. The acting was bad. The 90's technology is so silly looking it's bad. The writing was bad. The storyline was bad (Ender's Game did this plot oh-so-much-better). Bad, bad, bad. Granted, the giant bug effects have held up wonderfully over time, and the idea of equality of the sexes in the future was a refreshing sight, but my goodness was this a BAD movie. Perfect fodder for Rifftrax.

The one joke I'll give away is that this smile gets made fun of. A lot.
And yes, that is a giant bug leg sticking through her shoulder.

There will be another showing of this grand event on the 12th of September, and I highly recommend it to anyone within 100 miles of a theater playing Rifftrax Live: Starship Troopers. They are also doing a Halloween live recording of a riff on Night of the Living Dead on October 24th. 

My one complaint, and maybe they'll have fixed this for the second showing, is that the audio was hard to follow. At times, when both the actors of Starship Troopers and the Rifftrax guys are talking, I couldn't distinguish actual words, but that only happened a few times. Other than that, it is an experience worth the ticket price.

Find both of these in a theater near you, and you'll laugh the night away, I guarantee it. 

Never judge a book by its movie

"The book is a film that takes place in the mind of the reader. That's why we go to the movies and say, 'Oh, the book was better.' "
Paulo Coelho

Too true, random Brazilian writer I found on the Internet. 

As an English teacher, I dread the inevitable question of, "Are we going to watch the movie?" after I announce we'll be reading a new book in class. I picture myself jumping on my desk, knocking stacks of paper away with my comfortable shoes, shouting, "Don't you understand?!? The book is always better than the movie because it's YOUR imagination and connections and journey and NOBODY else can create the world you travel to in your mind!" But I've yet to have this John Keating moment in reality. I usually state, with a heavy sigh, "Yes, to practice compare and contrasting." Cue harmonic moans and groans. 

That's right children, step on my childhood memories with your unwillingness to read. 

Edmund Wilson, literary critic, once stated that "No two persons ever read the same book," and when it comes to what we see in our minds, I often find a director's vision of the characters and setting lacking my mental picture's (with it's inexhaustible supply of viewpoints and pocketbook) standards. 

HOWEVER, there are always exceptions to the rule (including that one). Eight, in my experience.

If I have to be truly honest with myself, I'd be less harsh of a judge if I accepted the fact that these are two very different story telling mediums, and maybe I should cut the screenwriters a break...NAW. If you hack up my book- because once I've read it, I own it you see-you shall suffer a tirade of jibber-jabber and insults worthy of English parliament. 

Here they are, the movies that match my esteem for the book, in the order I remembered them by, with a "short" explanation as to why:

Matilda- Omniscient narrators always help a book-to-movie-translation along, and if I had a voice describing the innards of my goings-on, Danny DeVito would be one of my top ten choices. The casting rocked, the effects are still well done 17 years later, and best of all, EVERY SINGLE ONE of my students who watch this film laugh heartily with the true enjoyment that only Roald Dahl's child-like version of reality could bring. Readership of Dahl always goes up after this movie is shared in the classroom. I personally love a good giggle, and this movie keeps the necessary plot points without loosing the book's charm.

Cloud Atlas- This beautiful movie blew me away and I actually had to watch it twice before completely comprehending it (more on that later). That being said, the complexity of the story telling may not match the layout of the excellent novel exactly, but it dazzles in its own way. If you've read the book, I'm sure you'll discover David Mitchell's six intertwining stories are treated with the greatest respect. A few plot points are changed to leave a happier product in the hands of the movie's consumer, but I personally liked those changes. What can I say? I'm a sucker for happy endings. 

Hunger Games- I shake with anticipation for the second installment after the success of the first. With the exception of the shaky camera craze that leaves me not with a sense of "being there" but "being saddled with sea-sickness and a headache," this movie did a remarkable job of visualizing children killing each other for the entertainment of the privileged.  I wondered how that would transfer from the written word. It's one thing to read it and imagine, a whole different experience to see the bright-red-bloody violence of gladiator teens. Our minds can create worlds within worlds, but we can sensor ourselves too. I guess that's why this hasn't been made into a graphic novel yet. 

A Very Long Engagement- Translated from the French novel, this WWI detective/romance is directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet, of Amelie fame, starring none other than Audrey Tautou. That combo by itself is a winner in my book, and this movie doesn't fail to deliver. There is actually one scene where Audrey's character, Mathilde, receives bad news over the phone and I SWEAR, the scene looked, sounded and felt just as it had in my mind as I read the scene. That happens a grand total of never. I already liked the movie up until that point, but I adored it after that scene. 

The Princess Bride- The book read like a screenplay to begin with, so adapting this humorously twisted fantasy onto the silver screen was simply a question of the right director at the right time. This movie is chock full of everything good, from Andre the Giant to oh-so-quotable lines, I just don't know where to start gushing. I guess I'll just move on, as you have probably been wishing me to do for a while. 

Holes- Another favorite for my classroom, I love the amount of plot they squished into this film. It is one of the few movies where students have trouble finding differences from the book. It's one of the few Shia LaBeouf productions I can stomach after Transformers. I think the best thing about this movie is that the additions made for humor's sake add to the characters' development instead of changing the character's personality, unlike some movies we know (The Lightning Thief, please stand up). I'll take my italics and move on now. 

Pride and Prejudice, the BBC version- Oh yes, five and a half hours of details, details, details (not to mention Colin Firth) that only the BBC can provide. I think, quite arrogantly, that Jane Austen would have been proud. I watch this (and the next one) whenever I'm sick and need to escape from the current world for a long period of time.

Anne of Green Gables, just the first two- I grew up on this pack of four VHS (that and the Sound of Music...which actually explains a lot about me). What geeky teenage girl doesn't identify with Anne's love of literature and hyperbole, and her complete inability to see the truth that yanked on her braids and called her 'carrots'? L.M. Montgomery provided almost too much information for the Canadian movie makers to draw from, and much of the story is actually drawn from six books, not just the first two. The editing works, and let's just say, I've always wanted to be called Cordelia. 

Oh, Pinterest, you creative genius you. 

The list of movies BETTER than the book actually exists, but shall be a story saved for another day. 
The list of books that SHOULDN'T have been made into movies (at least not yet) is one I'm looking forward to writing.
The list of movies that commit high treason and should be hung, drawn and quartered for butchering the book they were "based" on is longer than Santa's naughty and nice list put together. I don't think I'll go there, except in short bursts, spread out for every body's benefit. The process will be slow and cathartic, to be sure (evil grin).